I have have given birth to one child so far and therefore have only one personal birth experience to share. But... I did it without an epidural, so I do have a good idea of what it feels like. I want to share the things that helped me the most throughout my 7 hours of excruciating pain.
1. If you are panicking and fearful about the pain, change your mindset and remember that women are built to deliver babies. Delivering a baby is probably the most painful experience that most women will ever go through and you have every reason to be nervous about the unknown. Just remember that it is a natural process, not an indication that something is wrong. Don't be afraid and don't fight against what your body needs to do.
2. Breathe. How many people have told you to "just breathe through it"? What does that even mean? It sounded like a horrible pain management technique to me. The trick is, as I stated above, to let your body do what it needs to do. Focusing on your breathing forces you to breathe. Imagine that?!? Many people will cringe and clench their fists and hold their breath. This triggers the fight or flight response and heightens your sensitivity. Get plenty of oxygen flowing through your body and don't go into protection mode. Research shows that protection mode (fighting the pain through clenching) actually slows down the birthing process.
3. Count to 10. If I had only one thing to share, it would be the 10 second rule. I don't even remember from where I got this golden nugget, but it worked. When the contraction is getting to be unbearable, start counting. By the time you reach 6, the worst is probably over. That means that the unbearable pain only lasts for 6 seconds! That doesn't seem so bad, does it? Remember that each contraction is one behind you and your body is that much closer to delivering your baby. It is not an endless process - your baby will be arriving shortly.
4. Prepare your coach. I didn't have a doula but I can see why people hire them. Instead, I had my incredible husband. We did prenatal classes and it wasn't until then that he realized how important his task was. A woman in labor needs a coach. Someone who is firm, compassionate and encouraging. I don't remember how many times he forced me to look him in the eye and told me how good I was doing and that he was right there beside me. He wiped my tears and convinced me that I was strong enough to do this.
Coaches don't sit on the sidelines and watch the game. They are involved and try to make things go as smoothly as possible. Don't yell at your coach or demand that they act a certain way. Do your research and communicate how you want things to go well before you go into labor. If you don't think that your spouse is cut out for the job, hire a doula or invite someone who has all the traits you are looking for. The coach has a very difficult and exhausting task, especially if it is a loved one. It can't be easy to watch someone in so much pain. They might not feel the pain but they are certainly experiencing labor in a different way. Thank them and let them know how grateful you are that they are helping you. It will change your perspective...
5. Laughing Gas. That should say it all... Unfortunately, the USA doesn't offer laughing gas to their patients. I cannot understand that one. It is harmless, cheap and easy to use. If it is available to you, order it. You will not lose consciousness or be flying high. It just takes the edge of the pain and slightly removes you from the severity. The other advantage is that you are focusing on your breathing because that's the only way to make it work. As soon as you take a couple breaths of regular air, you will be right back to normal. The downside (which no one warned me about) is that they take it away when it is time to push.
I hope that you find help in some of these tricks that I have been taught. Go to prenatal classes and do your research so you have some idea of what you're getting into. Listening to everyone's horror stories is a sure way to sleepless nights. Go into it open-minded. I knew that I wanted to go without the epidural but I also made it clear that if it was unbearable, I was open to getting an epidural. I expected pain but it wasn't until after it was all over with that I realized how strong my pain tolerance was. If I was afraid and didn't want to feel any pain, I would have had the needle jabbed into my back within the first hour. It was such a satisfying feeling to have experienced a natural childbirth. With the right mindset, anyone can do it. After all, that is what our body is meant to do.
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